But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
