Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
