I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
