U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
