If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
