Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
