Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
