i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
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Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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