I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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