someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
