Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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