No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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