Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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