I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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