He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
