Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
