Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
