:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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