You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
