after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize