me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Come on in and take your pants off
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