Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
