I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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