I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
