If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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