he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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