no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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