I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
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I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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