Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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