I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Randomize
