sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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