His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
