Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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