How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
