i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
