So drunk, too bad you don't want this
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
