lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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