The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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