I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
