I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
