If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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