i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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