Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize