It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
