i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
