He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
