I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
