thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
