My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
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Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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