Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We have started to decorate penises.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
