drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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