i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
