So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
