My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
