Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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