is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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