He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sorry about my life...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
