In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
