all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
