Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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