you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
