Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
