Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I enjoy the company of your penis
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
