Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
