i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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