Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
