He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I got inside last night via doggy door
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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